Today is day 77!
77 days since our lives became a living nightmare, and our children were stolen from us.
We are a European family, in every sense of the word. I am Maria*, born in Hungary, my husband Will* is Dutch. We met in England at our first jobs out of university, where we settled for over 20 years and had our three wonderful children there: Gabby* (13), Steve* (12) and Anton* (8). Tri-lingual and sporty, we always committed to a busy, active life – sailing, hiking, travel, skiing, language lessons and extra-curricular clubs which gave our children a huge network of friends from all over the world, and gave them so many enriching experiences. We saw ourselves as strict, but fair parents, committed to giving our children as many opportunities and possibilities as we possibly could. In 2015, Will was headhunted for a job in Sweden, we decided to take it and moved to Sweden in 2016. We sort of settled here, but never really. However, the children had lots of freedom and independence here, reminiscent of our childhoods, so we stayed.
How our nightmare began…
On the 30th of September, 2020, an ordinary Wednesday morning, I said goodbye to my family… just like any other day.
That afternoon, waiting for my children to arrive home from school, I opened the door to the police, who arrested me, charged me with assault, took me – and my husband – into solitary confinement for fifteen days, and our children were taken into protective custody by the Swedish state, put under an LVU order
We have no idea when the children will be returned to us. We have no plan!
We have been charged with assault and abusing the children, and Social Services claim that we are a danger to them, for them to be with us unsupervised.
A thorough police investigation followed and the criminal charges were dropped 7.5 weeks later – there is no evidence of abuse or of our assaulting the children (because we have not) – but social services refuse to close the case and give our children back into our care and have placed them under an LVU order (child protection order) (Read more about LVU: police vs social services investigation)
All this is done in the name of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, with a “best for the child” approach.
We are terrified that this very broken system – one which can rely on hearsay, on suspicion and falsehoods to steal children from loving families – will never return our children, and they are being traumatised every single day this continues. The damage to the mental health of our family is staggering, and there is no end in sight!
Sadly, as the time goes on we find more and more cases of systemic abuse of power, where social services rip the child from a home in the name of protection.
The way I have put it to the SS themselves in an email to express my frustration: “Social services have come in to bulldoze a house because they think there is a major structural problem. (Our house wasn’t perfect, but it was a happy home with minor flaws. We have never said we are perfect parents.)
As time goes on and it emerges that there weren’t the major issues alleged, I feel, that the focus of social services is on defending the reasoning for bulldozing the house instead of very quickly trying to help rebuild it and improve it. We are facing stalling tactics, outright lies and manipulation.
It is my honest belief that my children are receiving substandard care, while also undermining us as parents in their eyes, our values and cultural backgrounds. Thereby, causing trauma and potential identity crisis in the children.
Every day of a child’s life counts! And these children are the most precious thing in my life and I cannot stand back and watch you rip their lives apart while taking the slow route to an unmapped destination. This process is undermining basic human rights to family, safety and security.”
Maria van Nort*, mother
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in the comments below- if you know us personally, say how you know us, what sort of people you know us to be.
Share with your family and freinds!
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Support our LVU appeal
We are also opening a Just Giving page, to cover legal and medical costs to deal with this ordeal:
While the Swedish State provides free legal aid in child protection cases, the time actually paid for is limited and insufficient for lawyers to properly review paperwork and hold authorities accountable to the laws. To handle the case will cost us dearly.
We will all need counselling and family therapy during and beyond this process. Currently, we are not able to work fulltime due to stress.
*The names, in this case, have been changed to protect the identity of the children. If you know us personally, please be sensitive to the privacy needs of our children.